oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
