In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
