Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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