I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
