I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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