It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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