:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
