Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
