Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
