So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
