Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
