I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
