More tranny stories later!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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