Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
