3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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