Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We were destined to go to rehab together
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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