Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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