I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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