One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
