And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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