She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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