There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
from now on my penis is your penis
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
