dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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