FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have post one night stand depression
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
