Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
