I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
