Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
