We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You work out of a Hotel?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
