when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
