I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
did i just pee glitter
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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