I don't think brook has ever known best
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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