I cannot find my penis.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
