my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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