saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
