Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
