I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize