out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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