i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
