what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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