Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
