Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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