And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Acid is not a monday night drug
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
