Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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