Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I got inside last night via doggy door
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
