Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she smelled like a LAN party
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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