She went from zero to smokin in five shots
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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