your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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