How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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