Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
