I puked a lego.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
