went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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