just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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