whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
