New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
