I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
