I love having hate sex.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
