dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
