I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
