His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
