You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
