I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
