ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
