I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
