Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
