So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
