In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
