I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
