I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
