the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize